Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
