you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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