i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
