Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
