I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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