Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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