i was born a porn star she said
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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