theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
