i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
