how hairy? two words: wookie tits
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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