I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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