that's an acceptable place to lick
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
time to smoke my breakfast
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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