Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she pinky promised me she was 18
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
