Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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