Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize