put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
