Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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