Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
