Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
