Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize