Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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