im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
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