Acid is not a monday night drug
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
