HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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