kristin has been a bad kristin
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize