Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
