No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
