no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
