Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
