I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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