i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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