Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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