I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
two words...techno handjob
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
