Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
