remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
