____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
