here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize