my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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