I feel like I'm in dance class right now
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
