Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she told me i tasted like america
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
