During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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