Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
