he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I love having hate sex.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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