I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize