I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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