come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
ugly people sure do ruin things
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He shit in the fireplace
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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