I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
