She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My balls are so social today.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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