seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Sorry about my life...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
