so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
