found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
from now on my penis is your penis
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
