i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
