Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
