remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize