Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
