some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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