sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
