and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I need to calm my uterus...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
