Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
