You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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