How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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