4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
