Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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